Day 37: UCLA Falls In Final Four

The Bruins were hammered by Florida again. Here at UCLA, anything short of a National Championship trophy is considered a failed season. However, I am happy that Ben Howland is allowing our team the opportunity to be contenders year in and year out. I look forward to next year's run when we add the amazing 6'7" small forward Chace Stanback and 6'9" center Kevin Love to the lineup.

It would have been nice to win at basketball this year. After all, it would have been UCLA's 100th National Championship win and a good way to kick off Pauley renovations. But the good thing is, we'll be back next year.

Go Bruins!

Mouth Opening Update:

Day 36: Flying Back To Los Angeles

I'm so glad that it's finally Friday! I'm taking four days off next week. I think I went back to work too early and it took a real toll on my system. In any case, I'm about to head off to Los Angeles. Thanks, Natalie Lau, for giving me a ride.
Everyone needs a vacation.

Mouth Opening Update:

Day 35: A Little Massage Goes A Long Way

Yes, I am shirtless in these pictures.

I was looking in the mirror and assessing the damage. I've lost a lot of weight, and it shows. Body fat has gone from little to zilch. Now, I give meaning to the concept of "skin and bones."

When I woke up this morning, I was in pain everywhere. My back was stiff and my legs were asleep. My arms had no energy. Here's what happened:

Yesterday, we went to the speedway off the 101 freeway in Redwood City. I didn't race because I'm supposed to stay away from any dangerous activities that may cause jaw trauma. So instead, I played arcade shooters like Target: Terror and Area 51. Since the games were on "free play" mode, I decided this would be my chance to complete House of the Dead and House of the Dead 2. Those plastic guns seem light at first. But suspending your arm for 3 hours, they feel like dumbbells.

When I sat in the massage chair this morning, I felt the mechanical arm kneading into my backbone. It was very painful. But somehow, it made me feel better. It's strange how pain in one part of your body can make you forget pain in other parts. I guess it's similar to punching your leg when it has fallen asleep. Anyway, the massage chair worked out all the knots. For the rest of today, I felt fairly less edgy.

Mouth Opening Update:

Day 34: My Fear Of A Tasteless Future

I felt completely unproductive today. I think I need a vacation. My body aches from losing weight and not being able to exercise. I feel light from the liquid diet. And I'm a bit depressed by the whole "not being able to taste food" revelation.

The doctor told me that I may never get my sense of taste back. Well, it just figures that as I was becoming happy about how smoothly the recovery process has been, the hand of fate lays me a smackdown.

"People with taste loss go on to lead normal, healthy lives." Of course, that's what they tell people who have limbs amputated too. I feel a little like Lt. Dan.

Before I went into surgery, I wrote myself a letter of encouragement because I was afraid that something like this would happen. What can I say, I'm a glass half empty kind of guy. The letter made me feel a little better, but not by much.

I'm really just looking forward to this weekend and the ensuing week. Getting away from work, hunger, and cold weather is what I need. Two more days to go. I swear, if one more thing goes wrong, I'm going to snap.

Mouth Opening Update:

Day 33: I've Lost My Sense Of Taste

I'm not very happy today. I realized that I lost my ability to sense sweet and salty taste with my tongue. Everything is a mixture of sour and bitter now. Up until now, I had thought the reason everything tasted terrible was because I was mixing random foods in a blender.

But with my tongue out, I tried to taste some salt. Nothing. I also tried to lick some candy. Nothing. On the other hand, the fried chicken that I diced tasted like peanut butter. Maybe some crucial nerves that connected my taste buds to my brain were damaged.

If I drink juice, I can tell that it's sour. Certainly, I can still taste flavors with the back of my tongue. But that part of the tongue is limited. Ladies and gentlemen, this officially sucks.

I really really really hope the loss of taste is temporary. I guess I'll find out from Dr. Surpure tomorrow how many people recover from this.

A part of me is really disappointed right now. If I can't enjoy the taste of food for the rest of my life... I don't know. I'm going to be grouchy until I die.

Mouth Opening Update:

Day 32: Learning To Smile Again

For those who find this article on Google, I assure you it's not some emo rant about coming to grips with my inner self. Rather, the title is quite literal. Because my jaw has been essentially reshaped, I've had to relearn how to move my lips. Currently, when I try to smile, the right side of my face seems more responsive, resulting in a crooked grin with far too much gum.

In other words, I'm like a stroke victim.

To compensate, I actually have to force the left side of my face to "stretch," thus subconsciously giving the impression that I am actually smiling crooked. It's weird.

I've been spending too much time in front of the mirror lately. This is especially true while eating my daily meat gruel and rice slime. I use this time to practice opening my mouth and making sure that my bite is correct. I'm going to go see Dr. Surpure again on Wednesday to make sure that my jaw isn't getting screwed up by the rubber bands. If they are, I'll probably be placed back on the splint. And that, my friends, would be a dreadful nightmare.

In other news, I watched TMNT last night. It was fun but felt short. The main plot involving the mysterious billionaire acquiring statues and monsters felt more like a subplot that was tacked on and resolved with way too many coincidences and deus ex "for the win" buzzer beating finishes. Still, it shoud be enjoyable for both fans of the underground comic and the colorful kids' cartoon.

Mouth Opening Update:

Day 31: Eating With Spoon

The rubber bands are still difficult to put on because of how small the hooks are. However, I'm happy to report that when they're out, I can widen my maw slightly more than before. Granted, it's still difficult to angle the toothbrush while brushing. But at least I can open wide enough to stick a spoon inside.

Being able to eat mushy baby food with a spoon makes me feel slightly less disabled.

Baby steps.

Mouth Opening Update:

Day 30: The Pain of Rubber Bands

The rubber bands are very annoying. They pull on my brackets and make my teeth sore. It feels like my braces are tightening.

I'm also having trouble remembering where to put each individual rubber band. To the people nearing this stage of recovery: draw a diagram.

The worst part is, I only have two hands. And to efficiently attach these things, you need three (four if you want a flashlight). It's hard enough to pull open the side of my mouth and attach a single rubber band to four tiny brackets on my molars with a short, flimsy plastic thing while staring at the mirror. Having to do it five times is a colossal pain in the ass. I actually ended up with a hand cramp. My fingers got all bent out of shape and wouldn't unlock for a few minutes. I hate these rubber bands.



This is as wide as I can get my mouth to open.

UPDATE: Woohoo! Kansas goes down and UCLA ascends to the Final Four!

Day 29: Unwired!

I ducked out of work slightly earlier today to go see Dr. Surpure. Nurse Emma snipped off my wires and I proceeded to painfully part my teeth. It felt like opening a vice. I felt a rushing feeling, like my jaw was about to fall off.

Unfortunately, I could only part my teeth half an inch without coming into painful resistance on the right jaw joint (TMJ). After a few minutes, it felt easier.

The splint that I spit out was the most vile and revolting thing I had ever seen. It was yellow and brown, covered in mushy food particles. To think that my teeth were soaking in that filth for four weeks... ugh! I hope I don't end up with permanently discolored teeth.

I spent the next 20 minutes in front of a mirror trying to open my jaw wide enough to brush the inside. I won't describe what came out when I rinsed. Let's just say blood wasn't the only thing.

Anyway, my bite feels different. Whereas my front teeth used to touch, now it's my molars that are touching. Also, having my tongue trapped in the back half of my mouth means that I now talk with a strange "curly" accent. However, since the splint forced me to enunciate every syllable of every word, I now pronounce words with great clarity.

Of course I'm not out of the water yet. Today feels like of like having metal handcuffs removed and having rubber ones put on. The cuffs don't chafe anymore, but I'm still in cuffs. Long story short, I'm on rubber bands for about 3 weeks. They're slightly stretchy and require me to replace them every 24 hours. My jaw is still held in place and my teeth are still forced together. But now, at least I can remove the bands at meal times and whenever I want to brush.

Obviously, since I can't open my mouth wider than 0.5 inches, I can't chew anything. However, as part of my own personal physical therapy routine, Dr. Surpure told me to slowly open my mouth 5-10 times whenever I remove the bands. Apparently, I should be able to open my mouth wider in a few weeks.

Still, I'm glad that I'm no longer limited to soups. Now I can eat mushy foods like scrambled eggs, soft fish, and mashed potatoes. It may not be greasy, smokey, fattening Korean BBQ or a nice, juicy, mouth-watering top sirloin steak, but it's a step up.

Day 28: NCAA Sweet Sixteen

Wooot! UCLA made it to the Sweet Sixteen round of the NCAA tournament! Ben Howland's new team defeated Ben Howland's old team.

Also, if all goes according to plan, I'm getting unwired tomorrow. Woo hoo! The teeth shackles come off at last!

Day 27: Vote For The Worst?

If you haven't heard yet, Vote for the Worst is a movement to sabotage American Idol by mobilizing the internet faithful to vote the worst contestant currently on the show. This week, the contestant is Sanjaya Malakar, the South Asian brother with Paula's hair. The goal of the campaign is to piss of the producers, execs, and fans of the show who actually give a crap.

I endorse this movement for many reasons. First off, it's hilarious. Secondly, it's a good example of the so-called Web 2.0 being used for something other than self importance. And most importantly, it's a great experiment. I've long suspected that America's votes don't matter one bit in deciding who gets kicked off each week. Think about it. Do we ever see the votes being tallied or the margins of victory? Do we even know where our calls are routed to?

Reality shows have a history of being heavily scripted. I'm sure American Idol is no different. Here's what I think actually happens. A group of crusty old execs sit around a table every week and choose who gets kicked off. Then, they hold a fake vote to make viewers feel like they're participating.

Will Sanjaya Malakar get kicked off eventually? Yes. But the execs will probably keep him around for just a little longer for ratings. After all, people who hate American Idol are now watching the show to see what happens to Sanjaya. He's a piper, goading the internet hordes into the sea. Once it looks like ratings have hit the proverbial ceiling, they'll forget about Sanjaya like a farmer forgets an old cow's dry teat.

In any case, the Vote for the Worst movement is awesome because it pisses off the people who care way too much about something so utterly trivial. For example, there's even a heavily ridiculed starvation campaign on MySpace. Some drama queen sits in front of her cam (eclipsing the lights in the room) and tells the internet that she refuses to eat until Sanjaya is kicked off. Judging from the video, going on a diet might not be such a bad idea.

Well, she has sure convinced me. In the interest of keeping her away from transfats, I implore you to continue voting for Sanjaya. Vote early and vote often.

Day 26: Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 Trailer

Nothing special really happened today. Everything was sort of average. Not good. Not bad. Just average.

Oh yeah, different media sites posted the Pirates of the Caribbean 3 trailer today. And yes, it's pretty average.

On the bright side, Pirates 3 appears to have actual human cast members dressed as pirates, rather than CG zombies and barnacle men. Let's just hope they don't overextend the movie by sending our heroes a cannibal island for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON again.

Day 25: Happy Birthday To Me

I'm 23 now. More on this topic after I wake up, take pictures, go to work, drink a liquid cake, and come back from work.

EDIT (8:00 PM)

The above segment was posted last night as I was about to go to sleep. It's not the most coherent piece of writing. But then again, when have I been coherent?







Last night, I convinced Jane to buy a domain name from GoDaddy. It was very easy. I just had to explain how difficult it is to buy a domain once it has been taken. Since janeliou.com was still available, $8.95 was a steal!

Not so with kevinsung.com, which is currently occupied by some voice actor with a propensity for minimalism. Alas! Enough about last night!

I woke up this morning, opened the door, and noticed that Sharon had left me basketball shorts (perhaps in celebration of March Madness) and a picture frame. At last, my diploma can be framed! No more sitting in a ghetto envelope on my bookshelf.

Truly, the best part about celebrating a birthday is getting presents. Speaking of which, the most interesting gift I received today was from Allison. It was a awesom-o black t-shirt and a one year subscription to SuicideGirls. [Not Worksafe]

Allison is the undisputed queen of networking and hookups. She also invited us to a live Pac-Man game this weekend. Well, the San Francisco equivalent of said game.





I ended up not drinking a cake after all. The cafe didn't have any for me to take, only chocolate cookies. It's funny because they have cake everyday. Just not today. It's okay though. Cakes are vastly overrated in the larger scope of pastrydom.

Most cakes are unnecessarily greasy. There are only two good kinds of cake.

1) Light butter cakes from Chinese bakeries
2) Ice cream cake

All I want for Christmas my birthday is my two front teeth.

Day 24: Feeling Old

Tomorrow is my birthday. I am turning 23 and I feel old. On the positive side, only 5 days remain until I have my splint removed and my jaw unwired.

Both Oregon and USC won their games today. The Pac-10 endures still further!